so long.

I think I can revive my blog for now. I have this urge to start blogging down my feelings

It's been so long I know.

You wanna know what I am up to and been through?

HELL.

This is all.

I thought I found a good job, but no, my job sucks and I hate everything about it.

I am lost in life ad I dont know what to do anymore.

the big deal

maybe the big deal is that I am afraid, of everything.

maybe I just want to be happy, much more then usual

I want you by my side cos it's time to be a bit more selfish

it's a big deal.

to me, at least.

it will be a big deal for me

to know how important I am.

I hate sleepless nights and endless waitings.

I am doing nothing yet I am tired,

maybe it's life, maybe it's me.

everything now is a big deal to me, alright?

P.S. Happiness is so unattainable.

我愛他

我愛他 跌跌撞撞到絕望

我的心 深深傷過卻不會忘

我和他 不再屬于這個地方

最初的天堂 最終的荒唐

its been a while

yeah i know, been lazy to blog, tired to bog, but now this sudden urge to blog is like back so yup, I'm here.

it's been hectic all time, but i am glad i dont have to face school anymore, so i'm glad like dont know what.

haha,

I guess, being happy is very hard to attain.

My happiness never last for a week.

welllsss~~~

gotta hit a full time soon, and i guess, that will prove what life is all about, I do hope it's more than that.

hitting the club tml, with my boyfriend, yes him,

omg,

I never imagine this day will come, but I guess all will be drinking, no one to hit the dance floor with me :(

boooooooooo!

i hope xuefang will dance with me :) weeeheee!

mad broke, so many things to buy

make up items

bags

shoes!!!

clothes!

I hope bliss, lasts.


Shour out to LIHAH!!
HAPPY 20TH!!!

I love Audi and you cannot stop me.

Ok, when it comes to cars,
I am a total noob, I swear.

All I know is you accelerate and you brake. And of cos reverse.
That's all.
Seriously.

Came one fine day,
I realize I DO know about cars and got into a Facebook fight about cars.
I am very active on facebook, and very mean for strangers.
SO what?
I like leh.

So the story goes,
I had a dream about me, drving a Subaru Legacy to school.
Awesome much, in actual life, I hate Subaru to the core.
But Legacy is chio and trust me,

It is,


Sleek and not as disgusting at the Ah Beng WRX or whatever shit *Vroom vroom*
And being active on Twitter, I tweet about it.



So, three of us, happily chatting about Audi where a retard came along.
I introduce you, Francois.



And as you people can see,
Brags about Daddy's Car, friend car.
Wait!!!~

HIS CAR LEH???????????

He avoid my question,
So the real question does he even own one to talk so big?



And off he goes, being sexist and offending me wayyyy too much already.
So he think girls are stupid when I comes to car?

HELLO FRANCOIS!
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CARS, BUT I KNOW THAT ACCELERATE TO RAMP YOU, AND BRAKE WHEN I AM DONE THEN I REVERSE BACK TO ORIGINAL PLACE!
How bout' that?

And he goes

Friend's Friend's car,
Daddy' car.

WHERE IS HIS FREAKING CAR???

And awesome Dee, Justin and Daniel helped me Wheee...
Justin own a R8 and Daniel sometimes at least got a car to drive me around.

So, being bored, I twit cos talking to idiots like him really entertained me a hell lot.



This guy don't know when to give up and shut up.

Justin is awesome.


Only after Justin have to show off, then he was like a walk car advertisement,
and talking contradiction!
NB!



And he act friendly


*PUIIIIIIII

Audi looks like this.


Lambo


Ferrari


Ok, all ARE super cars, but it varioes what, why must say AUDI crappy and worship other cars like mad and insult me?
Fucker.

So I went on twitter and saw this..


Begging me to follow him.
And guess what I don't know it was HIM on twitter.

I guess photoshop made a diff, he looks not bad here and all.
so I never thought they will be the same person.

In Facebook he looks like this.

And he wanna insult Justin Beiber.



*rawr! I look like a Dinosaur and I love my DADDY'S and my FRIEND'S FRIEND'S car.*
Looking like a Dinosaur is not a plus point to insult Justin Bieber.
He isn't much of a looker himself.
Imagine someone that ugly.

He was constantly replying my tweets.


I think I did reply eh,
I really never notice him one!

After all this Ordeal,
He deleted me off Facebook and unfollow me in Twitter.
Oh, I get it.
You failed getting my attention and your a sore loser!

I get it now, no car, brags about daddy, Early twenties, as useless as me in ITE.
Failing to get girls attention, getting celebrities attention on twitter, hoping that they will reply to a Dinosaur.

Hmmmm.

I think a Jaguar Suit this Francois guy,
Cos I just design a new Dinosaur series.



I think when he drives it sings "Barney is a Dinosaur...."

Don't let me see you Francois,
Don't ever let me see you, If not...


Happy Barney Day everyone.

RORARRRRR!!!!!!

it's disheartening

To realize both guys and girls work very differently.

I guess this is a long entry, shall revive my blogger for wordy posts sometimes.

I post what I like and what I feel on twitter, and the twitter post goes to my Facebook posts.

I've deleted a lot of comments and ALOT trust me; of comment that irks me bad.

The "delete" function is there for a reason.

It disheartening, to realize a lot of thing right now.

People, just because others think and behave differently than you are, doesn't mean they're bad or evil.

Thinking and personalities are subjective and who actually have the right to judge anybody?

Advices are one thing, but do you actually know you are giving the right advice?

Or it turn out and really gave the person the idea you are judgmental?

Girls are generally sensitive, they love and cry a lot, and they tend to express feelings more. That's the same with all the girls i know.

They want the guys to know how they feel, read their post, respond. Get upset over small matter, stays happy over small matter.

Guys are not good with words, not sensitive, lost at what to do all the time, but they love differently than girls generally. Guys are like this, not their fault. And they cry, in silence.

Everything is just so subjective and unsure.

How can anybody be sure to tell me "hey, you deserve someone better"

but..

better is how better?

someone better?

you know who i deserve?

you know it will be better?

you know me?

At the same time, you might be hearing this "deserve better" shit, but yet, inside, you still long for that bitch/jerk that hurt you so bad.

Funny right.

At the point when you tell people the same thing, you think, go and think when your heart broken and missing someone so bad, does it goes in?

Does your heart agrees you really deserves better?

Can you accept it?

Do you even like hearing it?

You see.

I accept sadness and even if my friends when back together with that jerk or bitch, i kept quiet and support them.

Cos i know, one day or even now, I am this stupid and brainless.

It's a kind of faith and believe.

And yes, some sadist, like your truly, enjoy that 9 months of pain for 1 month of bliss.

Lots of people do.

Crazy thing love what.

Before you say, I believe all will be crazy in love before.

Don't tell me you all never done crazy things in love?

And I post my feelings, for my girl and daniel(though you never read and never respond) to read, not for you to tell me what to do and expect me to listen.

I hate comments defending guys.

I think at least TRY to think as a guy to accommodate.

Did you think before posting that filthy comment defending your own kind?

Females can be cheaters and fuckers.

I don't deny.

So guys are cheaters and fuckers too.

Statistics maybe be equal.

But FUCK YOU ALL, guys are the most Jerks that girls will ever be bitchy.

We bitch and fight like a boy for the one we love.

And are called whores cos we let them fuck us cos we love you.

Then why don't I see the man bitching for the sake of us?

Guys can have that dick to fuck.

We contribute holes.

It's two way and the girl is the whore and the guy is power?

FUCK YOU

ALL!

It's always a two way thing.

Guys are whores, guys are sluts too.

Both are heartbreakers.

It's just how you bother to meant this break.

Daniel lau is trying.

But I guess, I see the effort, but I don't feel that difference.

I am happy.

He is not the kind, that love me upmost.

And shows.

Cos I never knew until now how important I am and I never can tell.

Though I know I want him celebrate to my birthday with me, I know he wont change for long.

Though I know he does more things for me now, I know he wont change for long.

Though it hurts to hear the date 15, i lived.

Though very much I want him back,I know he wont change for long and I will face that pain again.

Though people might think he loved me a lot, I want him to show in word and visible actions to the world.

Though for 10 months I wished, it change for a while and never last long.

He tried, but not as much as I do.

I know he thinks that I will ways be there but I'm not.

He knows I still love him, but I can always get a substitute in spite still loving.

He thinks things will be back to normal or same after a few months, it might, but he will not change for long.

I tried, even now I tried for him to know me better, but he did not appreciate.

I can act how normal, in front of everyone, but I am single.

Cos he did not change for long.

for the first time, from the bottom of my heart, I don't really care anymore.

Escape with me

GO to tumblr, I update more there :)
tammychua.tumblr.com

yawn.

Mad sleepy lately.

AOFA was screwed, why am I even not surprised.

Sigh.

Oh well.

Dreading work more and more eaach day.

My turn to leave after CNY, toodles.

tik tok

this is it

"I am parting with you
This time, I will not look back
Such a pity that all the memories and vows
Cannot survive forever
This is most definitely not your fault
Blame us, instead, for not being natural and mature enough with each other
When urging became my bonds, you could not understand my love
Past happiness have vanished without a trace
And my road is now long and weary

Forgive me for not being able to endure this heavy load
During midnight dreams I am always resentful and hurt
Believing you had given me my own heaven
Let us wave and depart to our own stupidity
Perhaps we shall meet again in future
And relieve today's memories
If at that time you still care for me
I will instantly fly back to your heaven"

最后一次的机会了

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

最后一次 - 17岁女生
刘荣华提供歌词(2008 10 30)

先走了 去了好远的地方

不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
生死由天决定 不要太伤心
在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

我 永远 爱你。

最后一次 - 17岁女生
刘荣华提供歌词(2008 10 30)